My Annual Birthday Freak Out Blog

Birthday Reflections: A Journey Through Life's Perspectives at 36

It's common for me to get weird, freak out and get either happy or sad around the time of my birthday. I was intending on posting this yesterday, the day before my birthday, but as is often the case, I overthink it, get distracted and basically start something without finishing it...

Embracing Change and Imperfection

I thought about discarding it and forgetting about posting but then I thought, no. It's time to change, it's time to not overthink if it's good enough or thinking that I could make it better and it's not what I imagined.

So sitting contemplating my 36th birthday, wondering about life, I thought I'd write an article. The purpose of this isn't to complain or vent. It's purely to paint my perspective of life at the moment and some things I've been thinking about.

The Perspective of Ages

Looking across the room at my daughter Madison, aged 7, the reality is that she's in for some much turbulence and drama in her life - everyone is. I think back to some of the meltdowns she had when she was 2 or 3 about not having the right trousers to wear or getting told she couldn't have some treat... but for her, those were real issues.

By contrast, I then ask my Dad, who is 84, about life and his problems. I gesture with my hands to show where Madison is on the continuum of life, where I am and where he is. I wonder if when he hears me stressing about an unhappy client or some big unexpected tax bill or something, does he look at that the same way I look at Madison's two-year-old problems? Possibly.

Life's Milestones and Self-Reflection

Where I'm going with this is that there are really only a couple of events per year that make me stop and think about both what's happened in my life and also what's coming. Birthdays and New Year. I guess there are also deaths and significant illnesses of people I know as well. Lately, though, I've become quite introspective, with some personal challenges I'm trying to figure out but also looking at the choices I'm making on a daily basis and if those choices are getting me where I want to go and be, or if I'm saying I want one thing but doing another.

The Social Media Birthday Phenomenon

It's around this time of the year that the "Happy Birthday" messages will start coming in on Facebook from "friends" that I have nothing to do with apart from this time of year. It's not that I mind that, and I'm guilty of it too, sending the occasional haphazard happy birthday to an old connection or someone that I used to be a supplier to 7 years ago. It's not necessarily a bad thing; I just find it interesting more than anything that a birthday is a valid reason to reconnect with people and wish them all the best. I think that's a nice human characteristic and don't see it as being non-genuine.

Understanding Human Nature and Customer Service

That's something else I've been thinking about lately: niceness/kindness and also the opposite, which is rudeness, nastiness, general unpleasantness. I see it at work most days unfortunately. Again, this isn't complaining; it's just me analysing things. I wonder about the people that come into work fired up that their t-shirt hasn't been printed in time. I consider that to be the surface problem, and there being two main points here. One being that it is our fault. It's our fault that we didn't set the expectations, our fault that we didn't communicate how and when it would be ready, our fault for missing the mark somehow. It's maybe not true but it doesn't matter if someone is angry - there's a problem. Where there's smoke, there's fire. It's not to say that some have unrealistic expectations, but it is our problem to say yes to them. So again, the blame is on us/me.

The Power of Empathy

The other part to this is that if someone's angry about a t-shirt being ready or not, it's likely not the t-shirt that's the problem - it's likely something more significant in their life that's going on, so maybe a dose of empathy is required. I know myself I'm guilty of being a completely different person at times to call centre staff when I'm stressed out in other areas, and they just happen to be the easiest, most vulnerable person to take any frustration out on.

Finding Purpose Through Change

It comes down to this simple quote, from Gandhi I think: "Be the change you want to see."

I think this is the conclusion and what I'm going to try my best to embrace for the next year. If there's something I'm not happy about, change it, don't complain, take action, do something differently. It's easier for some things than others, but it comes back to that other cliché: "You can't control everything but you can control how you react to everything."

That's all - I'm going to go enjoy my birthday now. I hope you got something out of this article, and I think if everyone embraced the "be the change" philosophy, the world would be a way nicer place!